Wat happund there?

It's been braht tu me attenshun that thus wez a birova problem with the forst post on this new thingummajig. Me 'Ghost Author' (that Mabley fella loves tu give eesel fancy titles) sez e pressed the wrang button by mistake.

A likely story if ivvor a hord one. Duzznt knaa wat ees deein, mair like.

Well noo, it's nearly summa. It's been hoyin it doon with rain this last few days so it meks yu think what kind of wetha wuz are ganna have ower the holldas. Are wuz ganna get some sun for a few days in a raa or what?

Some Lasses On The Drink In The Snedge

It aalwez meks me laff wen wuzz get a sunny day. Gaan doon King Street and yu see aal the lads with the tops off waalkin aroond, showin off the skinny chists and aal them tattoos.

And the lasses! eeh, lad! Some of them are a proppa sight!

Now divvent gerruz wrang here. Thuz nowt the marra with a big lass, but howay hinnies, thuz just some things yuz cannit wear, man! Owt thats skin-tight for a staat, espeshally wen its got stripes gannin across.

And dee yersels a favour noo when yus are yunguns and hoy some suncream on ya showlders. It'll stop thum gannin aal red raa and peely. Dee it noo while yu skins aal soft, and not in a few yors time whens its aal gone like letha.

Picture (c) Shields Gazette

Ah see in the gazett pyeppa there yuz can sit ootside Dickers noo with ya pasties and that. Looks canny, but watch oot for them seagulls mind...thull have ya slavery dip oot ya hand an doon there geat gobs in a flash! Gaans withoot sayin tu waatch oot for them shiten on ya, anaal.

Folks gaan on abooy the seagulls but, y'knaa, wuz live in a coastal toon so wat du yu expect? Parrots?



Just think yasells lucky Sheels isn't in the middle of the Serengetti and thus not hoards of Widlebeeste stampedun up an doon Fowler Street.

Reet, am sick ov taalkin noo. Ahl let Knackaz type me wards up so e can make them gaan on the computer telly for yuz aal tu read and that.

A think ah'll gaan an gerra cornet or a 99 from minchies.